A Bit of Straight Translation of a Different Kind of Fiction

The translator and I have finished a bit of amusing North Korean fiction.

Here is a translated release from the North Korean Red Cross, full of vim, vigor, and vituperation. This is a response to the events at Yeonpyeong and those leading up to the event, with

I wonder if this sounds sensible in the Korean. You can see the original Korean here (most sites that have this are blocked by the South Korean government, but this one is not). Anyway, here is the remarkably blockheaded English:

A rare, but positive mood created by our Republic’s own leading efforts is once again at risk of full-scale break down brought by the South Chosun puppet group’s indiscriminate and evil anti-Republic trauma and war mongering.

As reported, the puppet group escalated tension on the 23rd by initiating, the so called, ‘Hoguk,’ a war practice of invading the North. Despite our repeated warnings, the puppet group executed reckless military provocation by firing several dozen of artillery shells into our territorial water near the Yeonpyeong Island region, west of Chosun.

This was a serious violation of our national sanctity and sovereignty. Herding the North-South relationship toward a war situation, the South puppet group’s provocation was a in nature an evil crime against all Koreans.

Our Revolutionary Forces took up a resolute military measure by responding immediately with a strong physical strike against the puppet group’s military provocation.

Despite the facts, the puppet group acts like a criminal that scolds the innocent, so to speak. After using fighting words, such as provocation and punishment, against our Republic, the South puppet group declared that it would postpone the North-South Red Cross Talk indefinitely. The talk was slated to open on November 25th.

The serious military provocation the puppet group committed and the indefinite postponement of the Red Cross Talk clearly illustrate the true intention of the puppet group. Already, it has a history of opposing with tenacity every opportunity for dialogue and improving North-South relations.

Where is the sense in proposing a dialogue and in discussing reconciliation and cooperation with the confrontational fanatics who destroy North-South relations and drive it toward confrontation and war?
Under the name of all Koreans, the Red Cross Central Committee of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea condemns and convicts the Lee Myung Bak group for its crime: It has blocked a chance to improve North-South relations with its anti-Republic confrontation policy; its policy also obliterated the chance for a North-South Red Cross Talk and drove the political situation to the worst possible scenario, of imminent war.

Due to the traitor group, the long-awaited door to the North-South dialogue that opened with our good will, tolerance and broad-minded measure is now closed again, and North-South relations plummet to a depth we cannot fathom.

Turned into a maid of the puppet warmongers, the Red Cross of the South declared postponement of the Red Cross Talk indefinitely. Under such circumstance, we wish to no longer cling to resolving humanitarian issues.

The Red Cross of the South must stand before all Koreans and assume full responsibility for devastating the chance of normalizing the meeting of scattered families and relatives, as well as destroying other humanitarian initiatives.

Challenging the wishes of all ethnic Koreans, the Lee Myung Bak group trampled all over the positive atmosphere for improving the North-South relations in one brief moment and driven the political situation to a war. The Lee Myung Bak group’s anti-people and anti-reunification crime shall never be forgiven.

The puppet traitor group that destroyed even these noble humanitarian programs and placed on the head of our people a horrible calamity by instigating confrontation and war-mongering between Koreans will not be spared of  even more severe punishment by the people.

Juche Year 99 / November 24, 2010